sheeeeeit the ShallowCo Cool.
Say Jay West, “why gotta go and disrespect the women for, huh?”
Well, that’s Mr. West Bigelow to you and no, this is not disrespect, at least its not meant to be. Dudes need inspiration so i wanted to come up with a few gift or date ideas. With the love in the air, I figured I’d lend a hand to fellow suitors out there and give you a few ideas for the lady(s) in your lives. Best of luck to ya, bloke!
valentines is next thursday!!! hurr-upp!!!Well, that’s Mr. West Bigelow to you and no, this is not disrespect, at least its not meant to be. Dudes need inspiration so i wanted to come up with a few gift or date ideas. With the love in the air, I figured I’d lend a hand to fellow suitors out there and give you a few ideas for the lady(s) in your lives. Best of luck to ya, bloke!
"let's just talk about those I know…”
The Diva – Super Socialite to the rescue. You can’t go anywhere in the city without her getting at least 3 “hey girl”s hollered at her. Everybody knows her but relax homie. Its not cuz she’s seem more rubbers than a Nascar pit stop, she’s just about her business. Maybe she sold you that VIP Section at the club or she’s the one with Kompressor that works with you. Networking and fair flirting has gotten her a long way. She’ll name drop a bit so just be prepped for a few ego busters. Her ex man has dumb cake. Truth be told you are more her arm candy than she is yours so feel privileged. You might get to show her your “Oh Face”. You'll score points not tryna out-paper her last man (you'd prolly lose that battle anyway). Show her you have a sense of humor. Make a gift you made by hand, it shows you spent time and that money can't buy. If she hates it, there is still hard dick and bubble gum. RIP Big L.
The Project Chick – She plays her part. The type French-Kissing dudes with the blade under her tongue. To set the mood, make sure you got them Jeezy mixtapes on deck. You never have to worry about a serious commitment. She’ll be in and out of town…gone til November. To let her know you appreciate her, take her where she's comfortable. I'm sure your local gun range has Bonnie and Clyde specials for Valentines day. See what's good. Once that's finished toast to the hustle over a Tall Can
The Diva – Super Socialite to the rescue. You can’t go anywhere in the city without her getting at least 3 “hey girl”s hollered at her. Everybody knows her but relax homie. Its not cuz she’s seem more rubbers than a Nascar pit stop, she’s just about her business. Maybe she sold you that VIP Section at the club or she’s the one with Kompressor that works with you. Networking and fair flirting has gotten her a long way. She’ll name drop a bit so just be prepped for a few ego busters. Her ex man has dumb cake. Truth be told you are more her arm candy than she is yours so feel privileged. You might get to show her your “Oh Face”. You'll score points not tryna out-paper her last man (you'd prolly lose that battle anyway). Show her you have a sense of humor. Make a gift you made by hand, it shows you spent time and that money can't buy. If she hates it, there is still hard dick and bubble gum. RIP Big L.
The Project Chick – She plays her part. The type French-Kissing dudes with the blade under her tongue. To set the mood, make sure you got them Jeezy mixtapes on deck. You never have to worry about a serious commitment. She’ll be in and out of town…gone til November. To let her know you appreciate her, take her where she's comfortable. I'm sure your local gun range has Bonnie and Clyde specials for Valentines day. See what's good. Once that's finished toast to the hustle over a Tall Can
The Young Jawn – Atlantic station ain’t cutting it for The Diva anymore? Maybe y’all had a falling out so you go through the black book and find that chicks number you met at your little brother’s high school graduation. Fresh off the bench and she’s tryna get in the game. Well go ‘head, coach. Game on. If you’re feeling a little youthful, she wants to introduce you to her roomies. This might be a good night after all. Sweeten the deal by swinging by your local Coldstone Creamery and then head to a drive in movie. Guaranteed she'll be like...,"how romantical?"
The Stella – The older woman, she may actually trick on you but the least you can do is show her you know how to keep up. You can’t sag on every date so throw on a suit, get it tapered up and Go. Attention A-Town Players: You’re in luck! Keith Sweat, Johnny Gill and Lenny Williams will be in town on Valentine’s day. Pop in your big brother’s VHS, watch those Video Soul Gold classics and take notes. Be as much like Donnie Simpson as you can and you’ll win! LOL.
The Dirty Tasha – No offense to any women named Tasha out there, this stems from an inside joke. Long story short; every hood has a Dirty Tasha. Apparently you just assumed the young chick would be easy so you tried her too soon and got that “umm no” look. Back to square uno. The old hood. Dirty Tasha has a fatty and she’s not bad looking but her resume is ugly. Try not to chill where she’s known. Trust me. Lol. But hey, she’s just glad to be out the house, patna! say something sweet like "We got room keys"!
The Earth/ Wisdom – You know her, she always smells like incense and you met her selling sandals in Little 5 Points. Funny thing is that the earthy chick used to run with Dirty Tasha back in the day until she changed her ways up. Her ass ain’t so fast anymore but she still knows all those tricks. She’s vegan and well focused on her path but maybe if you play your cards right, you could supply some meat. But before you get ahead of yourself, visit the beautiful botanical gardens. You'll get points just for being open enough to go there. And here's a tip for the overachievers, ask her if she wants to talk barefooted! Peace and love...
The Nerd – baby its your brain! Why is it that some dude has to get dared into taking this girl out? And once he does, she takes off her specs and snatches that ink pen out of her hair she becomes a dime like FDR. Stay on your P and Q’s with this one, you don’t wanna look like a primate. Some be punctual in your arrival and witty in conversation, then go get High! NOT WEED. Take her to a museum dude and try not to be such a neanderthal.
The Earth/ Wisdom – You know her, she always smells like incense and you met her selling sandals in Little 5 Points. Funny thing is that the earthy chick used to run with Dirty Tasha back in the day until she changed her ways up. Her ass ain’t so fast anymore but she still knows all those tricks. She’s vegan and well focused on her path but maybe if you play your cards right, you could supply some meat. But before you get ahead of yourself, visit the beautiful botanical gardens. You'll get points just for being open enough to go there. And here's a tip for the overachievers, ask her if she wants to talk barefooted! Peace and love...
The Nerd – baby its your brain! Why is it that some dude has to get dared into taking this girl out? And once he does, she takes off her specs and snatches that ink pen out of her hair she becomes a dime like FDR. Stay on your P and Q’s with this one, you don’t wanna look like a primate. Some be punctual in your arrival and witty in conversation, then go get High! NOT WEED. Take her to a museum dude and try not to be such a neanderthal.
***this list is not composed of all women in the world. there are plenty of women who don't fall into these categories (we'll get to them soon enough!) thank you for your patronage!***
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